An Anxiety Toolkit

An Anxiety Toolkit

Quick and easy interventions you can try, today. 

By: Lexie Beckstrand, LPC

(estimated read time: 5 minutes)

Let’s start with a little exercise: try to locate the last time something made you feel anxious. Maybe you blundered during a presentation at work, or maybe you had to get on a long-haul flight and airplanes freak you out, or maybe you had RSVP’d ‘yes’ to a social gathering you weren’t amped about attending. 

Find it? Great. 

Now, zoom out with me: how did the thing you were anxious about actually go? Did you and the flight make it, despite some bumps? Was the night out with new friends worth attending, even if there were some awkward moments? Did you screw up an entire presentation, or have one error among the ten other things you did well? 

Here’s the thing about anxiety: it’s a horrible predictor of outcome, and often a needlessly critical commentator on past events. Don’t get me wrong- anxiety isn’t wholly valueless, exactly: it might be the reminder you need to better cope, caretake, plan, or improve. Anxiety may be the force behind remembering to download your favorite shows before getting on the next long flight, or to practice your next presentation before you deliver the final product. But when anxiety is constant, it locks us into a chronically activated ‘stress response’ mode, impacting both physical and mental health. 

Introducing the anxiety toolkit: not because you can completely eliminate anxiety (you can’t), but because you can get better at responding to it without letting it overwhelm you. 

A Time-Travel Problem

One of the more useful framings I’ve onboarded about anxiety is that it’s a ‘time-travel problem’. Think about it! Anxiousness is almost never responding to what’s happening right now. It tends to live in the past: “Why did I do that? That was so embarrassing. I should have known better”. Or it tends to live in the future: “What if this goes badly? What if I mess it up? What if everything falls apart?” Meanwhile, the present moment (where life is actually unfolding) gets short shrift. 

Mindfulness- the psychological practice of bringing attention to the current moment-  is essentially a redirect. It brings you back to what is real and present, rather than what has already happened or what might happen. I find that my clients are often daunted by beginning the practice of mindfulness, but it’s not something you cultivate only after a weekend-long retreat or 30 minutes of meditation every morning for a month. Mindfulness is as simple as orienting yourself: Where am I? What am I doing? What is actually happening right now? 

Do What You Can, Then Stop There

There is plenty in the world to feel anxious about. If there is a concrete, reasonable action you can take, by all means: take it. Contribute, intervene, support, and problem-solve. But once you’ve done what is actually within your control, continuing to ruminate, complain, or mentally rehearse the issue doesn’t make you more effective. It just keeps you activated. There’s a difference between engagement and self-inflicted stress. Anxiety is not a moral obligation.

The Double Standard 

Anxiety has a way of turning us into our own harshest critics. We replay something we said or did and arrive at a sweeping conclusion: “That was so stupid. I can’t believe I did that. What is wrong with me?” 

Try this instead: “If a friend told me they did the exact same thing, how would I respond?” In most cases, you’d offer context. You’d normalize it. You’d be supportive, and you’d move on. For whatever reason, we extend nuance and compassion outward, and reserve rigidity for ourselves. This question is a quick way to interrupt that pattern.

Be Intentional About What You Consume

Staying informed matters. Unlimited access to distressing information does not make you more informed; it makes you more overwhelmed. If your media consumption is constant, your brain never gets a signal that it’s okay to stand down. Everything feels immediate, urgent, and personal. Try containing it. Pick one or two specific times during the day to check the news or social media, ideally at consistent times. Outside of those windows, opt out. 

Fact vs. Feeling

Anxiety often operates on emotional reasoning: “I feel anxious about this, therefore something must be wrong”. But feelings, while valid, are not always accurate. When anxiety ramps up, it can help to separate what is objectively true from what is assumed:

* What do I know for certain?

* What am I assuming?

* What am I predicting without evidence?

You may still feel anxious after asking these questions. That’s okay. The goal isn’t to erase the feeling on the spot. It’s to anchor yourself in reality rather than letting anxiety fill in the gaps unchecked.

Name It, Don’t Become It

Another small but mighty shift is to create a little distance in your language.

Instead of: “I’m anxious.”

Try: “I’m noticing that I’m feeling anxious.”

It sounds minor, but it does something important: it separates you from the experience. You’re no longer fully inside the feeling; you’re observing it. You’re outside of it. 

From that position, you have more options. You can ground yourself, reality-check your thoughts, or take action if needed. Sometimes just that little bit of separation is empowering: this is not a character flaw or personality shortcoming, it’s a temporary state of being. 

Tools in The Toolkit: 

Much like a real toolkit, an ‘anxiety toolkit’ is something you’ll go back to and may need to use periodically. You may want to use different tools depending on the situation. Add to your toolkit. Find what works for you. 

Some of the reliable tools you can add today:

* Ground yourself in the present moment. Orient to place and situation. “What am I seeing, hearing, touching, smelling?” 

* Take action where you can, and release what you can’t control. 

* Limit media intake so your brain isn’t in a constant state of alert. If using social media, ask yourself after: how did it feel to scroll through reels or photos? Name it, note it. 

* Challenge overly harsh self-talk using the “friend test”. “Would I think this harshly about someone I cared about who did the same thing?” 

* Separate facts from feelings when your mind starts drawing conclusions. “What is real, what is true?”

* Create distance from the feeling by naming it, rather than becoming it. “I’m noticing I’m feeling anxious right now”. 

Anxiety will still show up. It will still try to convince you that everything is urgent, important, and potentially disastrous. The goal isn’t to eliminate it. The goal is to recognize it, have a response ready, and continue on, knowing you can handle these moments as they arise.

Tools don’t prevent the experience, but they empower you to meet it.

Anxiety exists on a spectrum. At one end are anxiety disorders- patterns of worry, panic, or avoidance that are sticky enough to interfere with daily functioning. At the other end is situational anxiousness, which is a normal response to perceived risk. Most people experience the latter regularly, and many experience both at different points in their lives. While the distinction matters clinically, in the moment, the internal experience can look and feel similar: racing thoughts, a sense of urgency, and a strong pull to ‘solve the problem!’ immediately.